oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
