I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
