Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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