Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
