So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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