Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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