my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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