hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
