The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
