U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
