the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
