Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
