so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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