In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
