this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
