Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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