Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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