Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
