My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she looked like the before picture.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
