Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
