so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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