My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I love having hate sex.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
