Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
