i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
