Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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