This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
