So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
