if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
