he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
