sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
