Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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