just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
