so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
