we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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