the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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