My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
