Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
