Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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