All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
