I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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