So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
