Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
