So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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