u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
