AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
