I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
