So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
