I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You took a bar mat shot.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
