the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
