Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
