Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
