And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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